The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
