I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
me + whiskey = a bad person
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
