I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
