She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
