Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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