I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
