Your tits are I can't wait for
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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