You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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