he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize