I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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