theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
