Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Randomize
