I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
