I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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