Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
