im having a threesome with these popsicles
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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