fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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