The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
