youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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