I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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