Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
