i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Congratulations! We have a period
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
