i was born a porn star she said
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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