so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
