tell your sister to shave her snatch
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
she told me i tasted like america
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
