i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
