the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I would ride that face into the sunset
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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