New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
