dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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