be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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