He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
