he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Walk of Shame today included voting.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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