We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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