Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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