Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
