My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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