Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
