all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
