Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
