You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Small penises have feelings too.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Randomize
