you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
