I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
