Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
