Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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