you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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