Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
