and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
