she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
