Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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