He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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