I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
