man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
