He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
