We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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